John the Mahamian, Jerrican, Goliath, Peacemaker and the Prophet in Ghana Politics

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VULTUREFEATHERLEAKS – by Anthony Obeng Afrane

From (L) Mr. Anthony Obeng Afrane (the Author) and Ex-President Mahama

Folks, we are in Easter mood, and I want us to do some Bible reading. Please turn to Mathew Chapter 3, verses 1 and 2 of your Bibles. It goes like this: “In those days John the Baptist came shouting in the wilderness, ‘repent for the kingdom of heaven is near.’ This is who was spoken of through the prophet Isaiah…”

What intrigues me about the scripture is the shouting of John the Baptist in the wilderness. Kikikikikiki, shouting is good! Every politician must learn how to [ads1]shout.

Friends, I have noted that with the exception of John the Mahamian, the one who comes from the Mahamas Island, most politicians by the name John enjoy shouting. John the Peacemaker had years ago shouted, “My brothers and sisters, as for me, I want peace. I’ll, therefore, not hesitate to turn my right cheek to anyone who slaps my left cheek.”

Also, many years ago, John the Jerrican did a lot of shouting and labelled them constructive insolence. And it would be recalled that John the Goliath did some shouting too, by accusing John the Jerrican of planning to prepare palm nut soup. This angered John the Jerrican so much. According to him, he abhors the eating of palm nut soup and does not see any sense in preparing one. He, however, conceded that even though he had prepared coups, eii, sorry, soups sometime past, the soups he made were okro soups and not palm nut soups.

According to him, unlike palm nut soup that could easily soil one’s clothes, okro soup is slimy and smooth and, therefore, is a catalyst for development. He challenged John the Goliath to come out with evidence. “He should name the saucepan and ingredients I intend using to make the palm nut coup; sorry, soup. Was I going to use chili pepper, kpakpo shito, prekese or dawadawa,” John the Jerrican demanded. This misunderstanding has brought ill will between the two Johns ever since.

Talking about ill will, there has been hostility between John the Peacemaker and a certain Osofo too, which has affected the Eye Zu, Eye Za family which the Peacemaker belonged to oo. I will explain!

A certain Osofo used to be a dyed-in-the-wool sympathizer of the Eye Zu, Eye Za fraternity, and had in the past prophesied in favour of John the Jerrican and John the Peacemaker, but Osofo switched camp because someone has taken his girl. Ajeeeei, do you remember that song? “It’s painful when someone takes your girl.”

Chai, see how people be alert; your ears dey sweet you paa. Anyway, it happened that a cousin of John the Peacemaker married the ex-wife of Papa Osofo, that was after there had been a divorce. There was some huhuhuhu that the woman demanded divorce because she caught the “man of God” yageni-yegeni slutting a lady in a hotel. Kikikikikiki, Osofo had told his wife that he was on a 2-month prayer and fasting exercise at the hotel. Sosket!

After the divorce, Osofo collected a house and a car he had bought for the woman. Fortunately for the lady, the new husband, the cousin of John the Peacemaker, bought a house at Trasacco and a brand new Benz car for her. Kai, jealousy set in; Osofo went and complained to the Peacemaker that his cousin has taken he Osofo’s wife. But John the Peacemaker found out that the woman had been divorced and that his cousin married her legally, so he dismissed the case. Soon after this, Papa Osofo started prophesying against the Eye Zu, Eya Za people. What even quickened the switch to another camp was that his cars were allegedly seized by Customs during Eye Zu, Eye Za era because they were suspected to be stolen.

This Osofo has prophesied severally that the Bole man can never be president again. But Vulture Feather has just whispered into my ears that we shouldn’t take Osofo seriously. The question VF is asking is that, how can a true man of God marry thrice, divorce twice, quarrel with his fellow pastors, and even insult them on radio?

What is the source of his confidence? Was he part of a rigging team, and believes the system put in place is so potent it can’t fail? I didn’t mention anyone’s name, I don’t want any gidigidi.

VF